Friday, February 6, 2009

The Call of Allah’s Son

Before I’ll start everything, I just want to say, I am a Moslem. Yes I am a believer of Allah but never did I regret being one.

I lived in a Christian community with Christian ways; I tried to blend with them but later proved that there is a big wall that separates me from the other. I don’t eat what they sometimes eat. They have certain traditions that I cannot penetrate. It is so hard to live with a wall between you and the other side. I want to mingle with them but found it very hard to do so. Sometimes I notice that some people whenever see me covered gives me a glimpse of total weirdness. We are sometimes treated like viruses which should be avoided. Sometimes, I ask myself, is it a sin to become a Moslem and a person who happened to preach Allah?

As the war protrudes in the forests of Cotabato, people all blame Moslems for all of their misfortunes. But please, IT IS NOT US! It is the rebels, the no-hearted life-slayers, the terrorists, the Abu Sayaffs, the MILFs, the Ilagas, Kato Bravo… they are the people who caused all of Mindanao’s grim present. They are not Moslems, they are devils. They don’t deserve to be called Allah’s son but Satan’s dominion.

Please, let us live like you, not discriminated and isolated. You know, as a Moslem, as a true believer of Allah, it hurts and my heart deeply cries for our race’ rejection. But take note, we are just people, we have hearts that cry and feelings that hurt. We are just human subjected to equal treatment like any others. Even though our gods differ in names, still, we are worshipping one God, one Creator.

Moslems and Christians are brothers; they should never fight one another. By the way, what are we fighting for? For one’s a selfish reason? Let us stop the tension between us, we are not enemies, our enemies are the people who want war and govern people in their own steel hands and cold-stoned hearts. And I want to repeat, we are not your enemies, the Moslems were never your enemies. Moslems always pray for peace as well as Christians. But always remember, WE SHOULD NOT FIGHT FOR PEACE. Be at peace and peace will come.

Cry of the Stuck

Hi! I’m Maureen, Maureen Hultman. Maybe you know me. Maybe I’m popular, popular because of that dreadful accident that allowed my parents to grieve over my body in the hospital’s white lights.

But now, I’m a just a soul, a lonely soul who wanders the earth, searching for justice and answer why my murderer killed me for no reason. I can still feel my fast-beating heart during that night, all my pleas and begs for him to stop pointing that sinful gun to me, the trembling of my hands, the blurring of my vision because of my tears, my scratchy voice, my prayers who called all the saints… but all of these fall on deaf ears.

I haven’t stop death from snatching my youthful spirit. I died without fully experiencing the world’s wonderful blessings, I was just 16 then, a young girl who wants to explore the planet where I’m living in, but I never have the chance to do it anymore… and it’s all because of him! The one who killed me, the one who grabbed my future, the one who easily took my life; these are all because of him! I haven’t found peace even on after life. All is dark here and I’m here together only with myself. I have no companion. I’m so… lonely! It should be him who should be suffering from all of this doom. It is not me. I’m innocent. It should be him to be on the fires of hell ad the sufferings of the evil.

But now, as all of the country’s media has been telling, he as been freed? FREED? Those nine years that he has stayed in the prison isn’t enough to pay his debts. He killed lives, innocent lives of the nation’s future. Hello!? Is the president insane? Can’t she feel my parent’s sufferings? Can’t she feel the feeling of wanting to kill someone for justice? What will she feel if her child’s murderer was freed without her being informed? If I’m just on earth and would be given a chance to talk to her in just an hour, permit to slap her face and shout at her what the real picture is. I want her to wake up. He freed a man who killed lives. As what I said earlier, innocent lives of the nation’s future. Yes I know why she freed him. Is it because he is a man whose relatives are in the government’s high positions? Am I right? And she doesn’t want these people to torture her while she is on her seat that Is why she is helping them! What a selfish president do we have! She only thinks only of herself! How sad our nation has leaders like her.

As my murderer escaped inside the bars of sufferings, what will he do next? Be an angel on everyone’s eyes? Yeah maybe he’ll do that and be a good man for years. But once a murderer, always a murderer! No one can change the fact what he is. He should be toasted in hell!

I am so mad! I am very madly in love for seeking justice, a justice that never was once mine.

And now as I’m sitting here in the darkness and loneliness o the betweens of heaven and hell, all I just want to do is to knock in the doors of your hearts, open it to victims like me and pleading to battle these unjustified actions. Help us, help me… I’m begging.

The Ship of Death (MV Princess of the Stars Tragedy)

This is my first time to ride in a ship. I am so excited, and take note; I will be riding in the country’s biggest ship. I am going to Cebu to visit my relatives together with all my family including my grandma who insisted to come even if her knees are weak. I really miss my cousin’s laughters of joy. I am so excited that I forgot to pack all my gadgets. My laptop, my newly bought Sony PSP and my iPod, nut it doesn’t matter, at least I brought my most important possession, my prayer book.

The sea was calm on the midday journey. All was clear. The sky was bright and my grandma’s face was full of joy. We were on the economy class because my father cannot afford to put us in a cabin. Children’s laughter is everywhere. My father even talked to a newly freed prisoner whose deck is just one way ahead of us. He’s full of joy and I even overheard him saying that he’d been to prison for 30 years and he regret all things he have done swearing he’ll never go to prison again. Thank God, He’s good. He always shows mercy for us all. Everything was perfect, everything was fine, not until the clouds formed into dark cottons, the sea became wild and turbulent, the rains dropped like stones, the storms raged and the ship swung back and forth. Who would think that this would be our one way ticket to death? I never remembered the captain saying that there would be storms on our way or else he would not permit the big vessel to sail, does he?

The laughter then turned into vicious cries. The smiles became frowns of anger. All was shouting what to do but the captain told us to be calm because no one will be harmed. We trusted the captain, I trusted the captain. His words became small relief for us all in the midst of Poseidon’s claws. I think God was angry but I strongly grippe my prayer book and whispered, “No one can save us now, but you.”

My grandma is crying, my brothers’ faces were full of tension. My mother has done the sign of the cross in the nth times, but as I never expected, my father was calm. He spoke words of assurance that everything will be fine, that we will reach Cebu safely and that we’ll meet our relatives’ happy faces and everything is jus a dream, a very gloomy dream, but is it really a dream? I slapped my face, it did hurt, and I realize, that this was reality. My father gave me a meaningful stare, and I never thought this would be the last moment with him.

Everyone is going crazy but still the captain told us to be calm, who will calm in the midst of this unwanted, heart-pounding situation? My mother headed for the life jackets as the rain poured down on our faces. The waves enter the ship freely. My head is turning and feels like the world is circling, I was like in a roller coaster but the shouts are not merry, it’s horrible.

Everyone’s praying now and I prayed that the captain would command us to abandon the ship, but my prayers are not heard.

I looked at my grandma once again, she’s calm now, but I wonder she closed her eyes, the newly freed prisoner strongly held the bible, my two brothers were numb, my mother doesn’t know where to go, my father is still assuring us that everything will be fine. The ship is still swinging back and forth, the storm is still raging and the waves are still turbulent. Everything was in a slow motion in my life’s slowest time. I firmly gripped my prayer book and prayed, after that…

…all was darkness.